it was the good life back when you were an adventurer
when you were a lighthouse keeper
F1 driver, wrestler, or alpine skier
later it got harder when you were a guerrilla
while you were a banker, a striker
and then a camel trainer
now you're a singer
and you earn pretty good money
but sometimes when night comes, you get bored
but what are you gonna do now
you’ve got no jobs left to try
yeah maybe obstetrician
one day you sold half your earrings
that some guerrillas had given you
after you helped them beat the ruling military junta
but the guy who bought them
couldn’t leave with them
’cause they were way too heavy so you kept them
makes a really funny story to tell
maybe we tell it badly
or you’re the one who knows how to tell it
like when you were a tiger hunter
and a tiger ate one of your arms
and your arm grew back, yeah that’s how you are
but what are you gonna do now
you’ve got no jobs left to try
maybe helicopter pilot
no, you did that the day before yesterday
in Haute-Savoie and a dam that just burst
we need to call Bernard Lavilliers
but what are we gonna do
a volcano just woke up
quick, let’s call Bernard, he’ll have an idea
and even if he can’t he’ll play us a little song
and people won’t be unhappy
while their houses burn down
one foot in a boot, one foot in a flip-flop
a dumbbell in one hand, with the other he wrote poems
he wrote the Quran, the Kama Sutra, the paperbacks
but nobody can prove it, maybe
you’ve already read every book
to read a new one you gotta write one
you even wrote “Il tape sur des bambous”
but you know we don’t give a f*ck
you’re a mix of Indiana Jones, Leo Ferré, and Garcimore
they say your real name was Nick Caragua
and later they named the country after you
and if one day you’re too muscular and it becomes illegal
and if one day they throw you in jail
I’ll come get you
with all your kids, we’ll hold hands
and we’ll make a friendship chain, yeah
you even met MacGyver back when you were a hairdresser
you’re half from Saint-Étienne and half Colombian
and half Spanish and half Jamaican
and half Shaolin and half an Indian chief
and half Puerto Rican, we almost forgot that